worth your time reading THIS!

This is a story about my cousin Christen's husband Zach. If you know zach, the story is 100x's funnier! He is very reserved. I know that I think everything is funny, but I was crying laughing over this one! Here it goes:

Zachary decided to buy me a wonderful hour long massage for valentines day. Zach dropped me off at the message therapists office and went to go get my car washed at Russell Speeders Car Wash (at about 114th and West Center road). This is a very funny car wash and I had told him he needed to try it out sometime. It reminds me of something from a Pee Wee Herman movie. There are manikins in the carwash. The manikins have human heads and stick figure bodies. They are wearing regular clothes, which cling to their metal frame bodies because it is sopping wet in the car wash. There is a black manikin with a whistle that holds a stop sign. This car wash is a sight to behold under the most normal of circumstances. When he picked me up an hour later, I sat down and began to put on my seat belt. I noticed that my seat belt was very wet, and asked why. Zach responded with a surprisingly snappish "I'M ALL WET!!"

I looked up, and sure enough, Zachary was wet and furious. I was reminded of a puppy who had received a not wanted bath. I could not believe my luck, and felt like it was Christmas all over again. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" I exclaimed.

WELL, evidently, Zach had gone into the car wash (and here is where he angrily interjects that "there wasn't even a sign that said to put your car into neutral," though I know for a fact there is one). When he had gotten to the part where you are supposed to stop, he put his car into park, and a frantic car wash attendee ran over to him yelling to "PUT YOUR CAR IN NEUTRAL!!" Zachary rolled down his window and asked the attendant to repeat himself.

"PUT YOUR CAR INTO NEUTRAL!!!!" the attendee screamed. Zach acted quick and realized that having his car in park was probably causing damage to it at this point. Then he realized that the "ride" had begun and he started to roll up his window.

At this point, it must have dawned on him that he was in my car, and the drivers side window most often gets stuck when it is rolled down. I can only imagine (with delight) what happened next. Zach proceeded to be washed, waxed, and whomped in the head with the car wash "whompers," all the while panicking and possibly screaming as he was pummeled, soaped, and squirted. He denies any screaming, or obscenities, but I like to imagine that there was much of that going on.

When he exited the car wash, another 'annoying' manikin was holding a sign that said to go when the light came on. Zach waited patiently. He was not going to make any move without being sure he was doing the right thing. He was mortified when (probably about 5 min later) he was forced to make a move when the car behind him started honking with fervor.

I asked Zach "when did you finally get the window up," and he replied with bitterness, "about 10 blocks later."

It is 20 degrees outside, he was wet, and he had to drive 10 blocks with the window down. Also, Chloe was with him in the car at the time (though... thankfully, she remained dry... and possibly slept through the entire adventure). Zach was late to work this afternoon because he had to wash the stick from his soapy and waxy body, and change his clothes.

I know that in time Zach will be able to see the humor in this situation. He begged me not to tell anyone. I apologized and told him that the world MUST know of this. And now you do :0)

I will try to get some pictures of this car wash in the next week so you all can see how funny it is.

All in all I think this was one of the better days I have had in my life.